What's the difference between mania and depression?
I couldn't care less! (MANIA)
And you should have cared more! (ANGER/DEPRESSION )
Let's talk about it. (MANIA?)
Wait, you'll walk all over me, and give yourself a gold star. (DEPRESSION SPIRALS LIKE THIS)
TALK ABOUT EVERYTHING WITH EVERYONE! (MANIA)
I am everyone's carpet when I am down. I don't want to talk about it. (DEPRESSION HIDES LIKE THIS)
Everything why not! (MANIA) %-D
Everything why! (DEPRESSION) )`;
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ (MANIA)
┬──┬ ノ( ゜︵゜ノ) (DEPRESSION)
What is bipolar disorder?
Same answer; roles get reversed frequently spontaneously, time and again.
What's the difference between a pessimist and a realist?
There is none! (pessimist) And you're just going to have to live it. (realist)
What's the difference between the five virgins who are wise and the five who are not?
I could tell you but then we might both run out of jokes before we get to the party. If you want to make a good joke, then go to the bookstore and read about it, but hurry back because the party's starting soon.
What's the difference between the five virgins who are wise and the five who are not?
Supply chain management.
What advice did the supply chain manager say about how to tell a good joke?
It's all in the delivery.
What's the difference between the five virgins who are wise and the five who are not?
The question answers itself. There are five who are virgins and five who are not.

There once was a man with great ambitions who was taught from his youth about God in the Shaker religion. He was very clever and so became a scientist finding and studying governing principles in the world around us. He felt great confusion about how God could be a man, and then later come back as a woman, and after enough study of biology he decided that if God was alive he would be distinctively male or female and could not be both. He finally decided that everything he had seen must hold the evidence of the answer, and so he started to list the evidences out carefully one at a time, so he could arrive at his own definitive conclusion about it.

The world is formed of just a few elements repeated many times, so God must be a man for boys love to play with legos and men have a knack for manufacturing. The world is full of detail made from just a few elements, so God must be a woman for girls notice the details and women have a knack for making more with less. The heavens are full of planets and stars, all of them flying at high speeds, so God must be a man for boys love to play toss and men have their sports. The heavens are organized so that every home has its home and is ever circling back for another visit in season, so God must be a woman for girls love to play house and women have their homes to which they return. The world has more space than people, so God must be a man for boys love their independence and men love their space. The world has many people each with many stories to tell, so God must be a woman for girls love to talk and women enjoy sharing all the details. The world has expansive wilderness, so God must be a man for boys love to explore and men love to conquer. The world has fields of lillies, so God must be a woman for girls love to play dress up and women love their outfits.

And the list went on, exploring every tangible and intangible fact and prejudice ever to touch the neurons in his head, and with each he found a remarkable balance between the sexes. And then finally in a moment of brilliance the scientist exclaimed So God must be a man for men are leaders!

But his wife who was a casual observer until now, spoke up. Yes love! I am so glad. Now that you have found some time, would you wash the dishes?

The man acknowledged. He almost acted surprised but then possibly delighted that he had an audience through this struggle and final epiphane.

The woman continued, I am so proud of you darling. God must be a man for you men are leaders. Women are leaders too, except we lack any need whatsoever to prove it.

Do you get it! She agrees that God must be a man. Because she knows her man likes to feel like he is in charge.

I am most amused to make a joke from the thought of competing egos, which would eventually turn to a competition for the honor of proving the most humble piety.

I am not being sarcastic. I myself have no ego to speak of. I sit like an angel, delighted to see who wins the contest but I am thoughtful to console the mortal souls who are frought in turmoil of that contest. I mean to console them in their poor little trial. Little babies, may I hold you? I think we must be at a draw for in good faith (and for lack of any contrary-wise proof) we must acknowledge that both the angels and the babies are naturally quite innocent. And cute. Mostly cute. At least when they smile.